


Their World

by AkaiSekai



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-12 07:54:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10485942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkaiSekai/pseuds/AkaiSekai
Summary: A collection of dramatic monologues written in each character's perspective.





	1. A World with Light

**Author's Note:**

> (Warning: Spoilers are included in this monologue)

It all started for me with just one simple phrase. 

I had been stuck for a long time and this single sentence was my real beginning. 

I had no idea just how much the phrase would come to change my world. 

I thought it was bad; Awful, even. But, I could never have been so wrong. 

That’s right. It all started when Touma-san told me, whilst he was filing some papers,

“You’re getting a new partner and roommate” He announced after having called me to his office- That’s right, an office. Where was my office? How inconsiderate of Touma-san. Then again, I can say nothing considering how handsomely he rewards me. Hence, I will happily be his pet f-o-r-e-v-e-r. But anyway, Touma-san’s news created multiple unnameable feelings within me: Annoyance, the newbie would constantly pester me after all; Deviance, maybe I could have a new source of money, and finally… Fear. It was another person to hurt, to scare or to kill. That’s the problem, you see. As long as I get paid, I will gladly do anything. Even murder. But the money isn’t the main problem, I suppose… I just… I can’t control it. It terrifies me, you know? Anything in my hands or sight could endanger someone so quickly, so effortlessly. I didn’t want that. I can’t care, love or nurture. All I can do is hurt. That is my job, after all. 

But, as usual, I didn’t tell Touma-san this. I just bottled it up inside and replied cheerily,

“Yay~! Is it a he? A she? Are they… Rich!?” I gasped dramatically, only continuing to bombard Touma-san with as many questions as possible. He rolled his eyes and with a flick of his hands and some money, he had sent me off in seconds. Maybe faster. Like I said, I do everything and anything for money. Oh, and before I had left, Touma-san had told me something of great interest-: The new guy was already waiting in my room. 

My barefoot feet tapped along the dirtied path that I had walked so many times before on my way to my room. ‘But, what do you mean, Tsurugi? The floors are sparkling white in C3, how on Earth is it dirty?’ I hear you ask. Well. It may seem clean, but this road I traipse to my room is covered in bloody footprints. My footprints. The disgusting crimson liquid that painted the underside of my feet like a cursed tattoo and the scarlet raindrops are proof enough. I’m not safe. I see it everyday. The spirits screaming whilst trapped in the walls, the floors, the ceilings. They can’t leave. I brought them here. I brought their blood after slaughtering them. It’s silly, vampires don’t have souls, right? But for some reason, it still bugs me. It’s strange though. I dread my job, when I have to do it. However, when I am on the job… I enjoy it. Their wails, their prays, the flickering light in their eyes. No, killing vampires is not what I dread. What I fear for, is that one day, I will kill a human friend just because I simply can’t control the urge to murder. Why does Touma-san still force me to do this…?

Ignoring these thoughts, I continued to advance on my room, hoping desperately that I would be able to scare off the new guy in time. 

However, as soon as I opened the door to my room, an awful feeling sunk into my stomach like a weight and I realised. This person was not going to be scared off. ‘Oh, but I haven’t even seen him yet!’, I tried to think positively. But I could tell. After all, my room… It was tidy. And let me tell you, that was not normal. I gazed around the area with wide eyes, unable to believe that I had really walked into the same room. Did I accidentally end up in Jun-chan’s room?! The trash that had normally littered the floor with other detritus was clear and sparkling clean. It was the first time that I had ever seen my room so tidy. Even my overflowing bin of bandages was empty. The beds were made, the tables cleared and the en suite glimmering with a cleanliness that I could never have even imagined. My eyes swept over the coffee table, when I noticed something. My origami was gone. I ran upto the coffee table and glared around at my surroundings till I noticed the paper doves in the bin. Gently, I picked one up out of the trash and stared at it as though I had lost a friend. This was new guy had definitely taken a step towards annoying me. 

That’s when I finally noticed the plush velvet armchair that was never meant to be there. The young man stood up, turning to meet his new partner. The boy- younger than me- had this blonde hair that was slightly too long, and brown eyes that showed more intelligence than he should have. It was quite funny, considering how much shorter the new employee was compared to me. He had to be a good 4cm shorter. The blonde looked me up and down with a disgusted expression, before he commented in a smooth voice,

“I suggest we go out for dinner.” He said coolly, not even asking me whether I wanted to go or not. How mature of him! A hissing sound came from the boy’s C3 uniform, and I noted that around his neck was a long black snake. Ah, he was probably that Servamp that Touma-san mentioned. And yes, I was actually paying attention when Touma-san was talking to me, rather than just focusing on the money- Well, I was listening most of the time anyway…

I didn’t get to say much after that. The next thing I knew, I was in an extremely posh restaurant that appeared to have been renting out. Clearly, the new guy was liking how he could use C3’s money as he liked. To be honest, I liked his morals here. Sitting in a crouch on the hard-backed chair I decided to start a conversation,

“So, I’m Kamiya Tsurugi, 19 years old~!♥ I can’t wait to start working with you~!♥ Let’s get along from now on… Uh…” I lost my flow quickly, having forgot the name of the person in front of me. So maybe I wasn’t paying attention to Touma-san. 

“Alicein Mikuni.” He filled in the blank

“Ah, right, right… Alicein Mikuni, 16 years old, huh~? So young!” There was a pause of silence. I could remember the awkwardness of it to this day. That’s when I came up with his nickname,

“I know! I’ll call you Kuni-chan~! ♥” Silence stretched on, whilst Kuni-chan continued to daintily twirling up his spaghetti like a posh aristocrat. Ignoring this, I had happily started messily twisting the spaghetti round and round the plate before slipping some into my mouth. 

“You know, I’m really the only one around your age, so you can tell me anything, okay~?” I winked, and Kuni-chan delicately placed his knife and fork down, dabbed at his mouth with a napkin, before asking with narrowed eyes,

“How much do you know about me?” Delighted at the reply from my stoic companion, I grinned,

“Enough to make you think, ‘Geh… He knows that much?!’” I slyly smirked, my eyes and smile wide. It was the face that I pulled whenever I wanted to hide something as much as I could. That expression was the one that I usually where permanently, so it had felt easy for me to do so. What feeling was I hiding this time, you ask? Once again, it was fear of the unknown. Thankfully, my distant coworker didn’t seem like one to get close. Maybe… Just maybe… He would be safe around me for a little bit… 

“Does the information that you have on me include how every time you make that expression my mood gets worse? If not, you really don’t know that much.” If I were holding something then, it would have slipped out of my fingers like silk. Then again, I was probably being paranoid. No one could see through my mask. Not even Touma-san, Jun-chan or Yumi-chan. Ignoring his underhanded move, I laughed,

“Hahaha~! You’re not very cute, are you? ♥” 

An hour or so later, I was swinging from side to side on my chair and the room was dark whilst Kuni-chan tried to get some sleep. That was when I heard the whispering and shy voice of the Servamp of Envy,

“... You aren’t going to sleep?” In a slightly tired voice from my constant back and forth paranoia over Kuni-chan’s staying in my room, I replied,

“Me? I’m fine. I can fall asleep, even in a chair~! What about you- Oh right, vampire. You probably sleep in the day, right~? Ahaha.” I hummed a bit, before speaking up again,

“But man~ He seems pretty sensitive. It’s like he can’t sleep well when others are around or something.” I trailed off, thinking that I was just the same. The reason I was sat in this chair rather than in the bunkbed was because I didn’t want to hurt him or something. Nor did I want him to see my scars. It was best for me to stay far away from him. Envy was quiet for a bit longer before he finally murmured,

“... Is this surveillance?” I almost laughed at the idea. Why would I ever do extra work without getting paid? That’d just be wrong. Then again, maybe I could have got Touma-san to hand over a few yen if I had… Oops. I should have thought of that sooner. 

“I think I’m here for more personal reasons,” I tilted my head to the ceiling before looking towards the Servamp that hid behind the crack in the door, “Why don’t you take a seat? You… Your name is Jeje-chan, right?” 

“... The -chan is unnecessary.” He replied almost immediately, and I laughed at his abruptness,

“Hahaha! Did Kuni-chan give you that name? Does it mean something?” Leaning forward, I stared expectantly at the shy Servamp, but all I heard was barely a mumble. To this day, I have no clue what he said. Couldn’t have been that important though. So, we continued to talk. 

Days were spent idly. Kuni-chan and I grew closer, but I still kept my distance. He occasionally pressed me, complaining about my fake expression. Every time, I dodged those questions with ease. Our days at restaurants grew in number, and Jun-chan and Yumi-chan started to have these expressions of ‘hope’ for me. As much as I hate to admit it, but even I had some kind of ‘hope’. It was like my life had some kind of meaning again. Our little back and forth arguments were small moments of enjoyment for me; They were breaks to prevent me from worrying about Kuni-chan. We were rarely apart. It was like I had found a new friend. The world was bright. 

But, it all went downhill. 

Just as I had predicted. 

One day, Kuni-chan nearly saw my scars. I had quickly withdrew and pulled my shirt down from changing, and pretended nothing happened. But, Kuni-chan wasn’t really the same since then. He had this small expression of something like concern for me… Pretty stupid really. I was the one that was worried for his safety. 

Another time, when we were at dinner again, Kuni-chan questioned me about Touma-san,

“Is that person your sibling or something?” Nonchalantly, I waved off his question, whilst handing him the papers for our next assignment,

“Eh~? Does it seem like that?” With a dark expression, Kuni-chan muttered,

“It doesn’t really seem that way, but I was thinking that it would be nice…” This surprised me. I barely know anything about Kuni-chan’s past to this day, but the gap in his mask that I saw then showed me something that I had never seen in the blonde before: Loneliness. Regret. Anger. It almost scared me. Dismissing what he said again, I chuckled,

“Hahaha~ You’re such a bad guy~! Are blood ties really that important?” My voice caught a little as I thought back into my past and I shook my head, “...Ah, nah, let’s not talk about this. Our values have nothing in common with each other.” Silence fell again. It was almost as awkward as our first meal together.

“Are you jealous of me?” I nearly choked on my meal, but kept my composure. This was a new side to Kuni-chan that worried me. A side that seemed almost… vulnerable. 

“Nope. You and I are different humans. My meat sauce and Kuni-chan’s cream sauce are both ‘pasta’, but-”  
“That’s not what I’m talking about now.” Cringing at the sudden change in Kuni-chan’s tone of voice, I nervously laughed it off,

“Sorry, I was poking fun at you, haha. But wow, your self-awareness is amazing. I kind of like that part of you Kuni-chan~. And what about you? Are you jealous of me?” I quickly changed the focus of the conversation; I couldn’t allow myself to compliment him any further. The closer we got; the harder it would be for us to part later, like I knew we would. Kuni-chan raised an eyebrow,

“Huh? Me? Jealous of you, who has nothing?”

“Yes. Of the fact that in the beginning, I was able to live with nothing.” I deadpanned, though afterwards, I quickly began to fret that I had gone too far. But I didn’t stop myself,

“There’s no way to save you from being jealous when you’re not prepared to want something, so you should rethink your actions. You won’t be satisfied with anything, you know?” I cringed as the wine glass in Kuni-chan’s hand broke in two. Why did that fill me with dread? Then again, this was just before that happened. I gasped, apologising for both the wine and my judging of his character. 

Not long after this strange bonding moment, it happened. The thing that eventually resulted in Kuni-chan leaving. I can hear Kuni-chan’s hoarse screams to this day,

“TSURUGI-SAN!!! I didn’t ask you to protect me! I didn’t ask! This just causes trouble!” His strangled voice yelled, whilst I gripped at my bleeding out side. Sweat beaded on my forehead and blood trickled from my mouth. I really thought I was going to die then and there. But the fact that Kuni-chan even cared about my injury seemed to warm my heart. Silly, isn’t it? That despite it all, I was only happy that Kuni-chan finally showed that he had some feelings for me rather than just his constant stoic nature. 

“Ha.. Ha.. I’m not even good at protecting.. But…” I gasped whilst clutching my wound, “If you die, I’ll be in trouble…” Even I don’t know what I meant by that. Trouble as in Touma-san will be annoyed? Or was it trouble for me personally… Now that I think about it, it was probably the second option. Because after Kuni-chan left, I had never felt such loneliness.

After the incident, Kuni-chan wasn’t really the same. He kept quiet. Talked less than he usually did. Then he left C3. Left me alone. And it hurt, a lot. In the end, it wasn’t me that hurt him, but him that hurt me. Ironic, isn’t it? The next time I saw him, I realised just how much Kuni-chan had changed. We argued. Even tried to kill each other. But I didn’t really mean it. However, I could no longer tell what Kuni-chan was thinking. He was blank. Like a doll. And now, we continue to feud, despite my hatred for it. He has the same expression I have now. The mask that hides our thoughts and feelings from the world. And you know what?

He may have been my light back in C3. 

But what is light, without darkness?


	2. A World with Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikuni's Dramatic Monologue of his time in C3  
> Spoilers from Chapter 51.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Copyright:  
> The characters and storyline belong to Tanaka Strike. This is just a fan-made work.

Have you ever felt this unwavering loneliness?

It’s strange. I’ve never really thought of it before. 

My first time experiencing it was when I had to leave them. 

My family. 

It had to be done. I had to leave. I was a murderer after all. But instead of mulling over this, as usual, I pretended nothing was wrong. It was obvious that I had much better things to do than worry about pointless things of the past. Instead, I would spend time watching the sleek black snake that had in fact been the cause of my family falling apart, I suppose. But, I didn’t really mind, strangely enough. And of course, there were my beloved dolls, for example, Abel-chan. Despite this, my thoughts continued to run rampant, and it eventually reached a topic that I liked to keep locked tight behind the doors of my mind. 

And you know what? These memories… They weren’t even about what happened with my family. 

Oh no, instead, it was about that wolf. 

Ah, should I entertain you with the story that was in the ‘shining days of my youth’?

Well, I suppose it all began when I was dropped off outside my new ‘home’ in C3. I’d heard that I’d be getting a roommate, but that wasn’t particularly in my interest. The only reason I was there was to act as a distraction if I’m honest. Though, I’ll admit that at the time, I’d have much preferred a room alone. Ironic, isn’t it? Considering how alone I was back then. Though this isn’t particularly important, so I won’t bother boring you with such pointless information. Anyway, I nonchalantly opened the door, expecting my new roommate. And I suppose, even I was a tad bit nervous. But I was greeted with a much larger surprise. The room… I couldn’t even see the room. Was this really my new home? It was a valley of black bin bags if anything. It was a miracle that anyone could navigate through it. In my mind, I was dreading the monumental task in front of me. But outside, I was as blank-faced as a piece of paper. Sighing, I turned to Jeje, who was resting around my neck as usual,

“Could you help me tidy up this catastrophe?” The snake nodded a little, slithering away from me and changing into his human form. Together, Jeje and I set to work on the gruelling and disgusting task that was to clean the dismal room. Halfway through, I spotted a large collection of bandages and medicines- All of which were used. I can remember thinking to myself, “Whoever is living here must have a death wish, maybe I won’t have to room with him for long?”. I know what you’re thinking; That’s a bit too dark, right? But I didn’t care then and I don’t care now. 

In any case, Jeje and I spent a good few hours wading through the rubbish, separating it and binning anything unnecessary, which was pretty much everything in the room. At one point, I noted how Jeje kept hold of some of the random origami animals. Specifically, they were the cats, wolves, pigs, butterflies, bats and hedgehogs. I didn’t question it but I could tell; Like me, he missed his family. Even though he was Envy, which was weird. Then again, the definition of ‘envy’ refers to awkwardness and the pushing away of people, so it was no surprise that Jeje was alone. I guess you could say we were alike. 

When the room was finally clean and organised, I took a deep breath and fell back into an old armchair that I had found in storage. It was in surprisingly good quality as well. Jeje had reverted to his snake form; He found it awkward staying as a human for too long. He had now returned to his original position- Being curled around my neck happily. Well, as happy as the Servamp of Envy could be. That was when the door slammed open. The startling noise didn’t even make me twitch, though Jeje’s tail flicked. I kept as still as a statue for a few more moments, before elegantly rising from the armchair. Turning slowly, I took in the strange appearance of the new character. He was dressed in a ¾ length black top and white jeans- The C3 colours. He had this raven black hair that was always a mess, a crazed smirk and his eyes… They were gold. But inside them, deep inside, you could see it. How broken he was. Even through the mask of his smirk, the pain from within ran across him like a large scar. Needless to say, it didn’t take long till I came to hate that expression. The one that hid everything about him. The one that made him appear as empty as a chessboard after someone has conquered it. Keeping these thoughts hidden as per usual, I calmly implied,

“I suggest we go out for dinner.” Afterwards, I refused every single word he said until eventually, we were both at a single two-seated table in one of my favourite restaurants. It was so expensive, that people could rarely come, so it was often empty. And unlike my companion’s thoughts, I had bought our food with my own money, rather than piggybacking off of my new job. The silence at that table was uncomfortable. And I had a feeling that sometime soon, he would- my compatriot opened his mouth- talk,

“So, I’m Kamiya Tsurugi, 19 years old~!♥ I can’t wait to start working with you~!♥ Let’s get along from now on… Uh…” Ah. He ended up trailing off rather quickly. Then again, I never was one to talk after what happened. Fighting the urge to roll my eyes, I suggested,

“Alicein Mikuni.” 

“Ah, right, right… Alicein Mikuni, 16 years old, huh~? So young!” I can remember being annoyed that he remembered my age but not my name. Not to mention, we were only a few years apart, or so I gathered. How could someone his age be so… childish? Then again, that was probably part of the stupid mask. My companion suddenly perked up as though he had an idea,

“I know! I’ll call you Kuni-chan~! ♥” Nicknames? We barely knew each other then. Ignoring his comments, I had continued to indulge myself in eating the delectable spaghetti that the restaurant had to offer. My roommate was a messy eater. He flicked and twisted his wrists whilst holding the fork, flicking sauce around his plate. Using his pinky, I watched as he wiped some stray sauce from his mouth before licking the tomato from his finger. Correction: My new ‘friend’ was very childish. 

“You know, I’m really the only one around your age, so you can tell me anything, okay~?” He winked at me, and once again, I had to fight myself in rolling my eyes. But that would break my stoic expression. Elegantly, I replaced my knife and fork on my plate before dabbing at my mouth. Raising my eyes to meet the money-obsessed freak, I glared at him subtly,

“How much do you know about me?” He seemed positively delighted with my reply, ignoring my glaring eyes. 

“Enough to make you think, ‘Geh… He knows that much?!’” His mask thickened as he dodged the question. Was it so hard for him to answer questions, then again, I do about the same. Only I don’t bother answering at all. 

“Does the information that you have on me include how every time you make that expression my mood gets worse? If not, you really don’t know that much.” I let my opinion out, unable to bear dealing with his mask a single second longer. His countenance flickered for a second, clearly having not expected my correct deduction. And in that single second, his face appeared earth-shatteringly broken. And even my heart felt like it was under pressure at the thing that I had seen. It was clear that he may have even suffered more than I. But I diverge, none of my feelings of the past have any consequence now. After his moment, my companion immediately laughed,

“Hahaha~! You’re not very cute, are you? ♥” 

An hour or so later, I was in the top bunk of the bed trying to sleep. But all I could hear was the wolf and the snake talking. Every night they would talk, and occasionally, it was even about me. It was strange. I had never heard Jeje talk so much with one person over such a long time. At one point, I can even remember Jeje asking timidly for my roommate to make him more origami animals of the other Servamps- He kept all of them to this day. Each and every one. 

Though I hate to admit it, over time I suppose the wolf and I became good friends. The more time we spent together, the less time I wanted us to part- Unlike in my initial thoughts to having a roommate. It’s like I wasn’t alone anymore. Like I had finally found happiness. But even then, we were both always alone. The wolf hid his scars from me as if they mattered, and I hid my past to the best of my ability. I even started to develop concern for the poor and scared wolf. 

But, that’s not to say that it didn’t all go wrong. 

No surprise really. Anyone I come close to seems to get hurt. Even my own family fears me to the point that they refuse to even mention my name… 

One day, when we were in the same seat, at the same table, at the same restaurant that we met, the wolf and I had a strange talk. 

“Is that person your sibling or something?” I questioned the wolf about the man he kept meeting with, as I had started to get annoyed at their strange relationship. It reminded me of poor Misono. 

“Eh~? Does it seem like that?” He hummed nonchalantly, licking his fingers clean of sauce as usual. Thankfully, by this time, I had gotten used to his awful table manners. 

“It doesn’t really seem that way, but I was thinking that it would be nice…” My mask broke for a second, as my memories from the Alicein mansion came back in a wave of emotions. I shuddered at the thought, though this could barely be seen by those around me. But considering how surprisingly perceptive the wolf was, he almost definitely noticed judging by his wide eyes. It didn’t take long for my face to fall back into a stoic expression, however. 

“Hahaha~ You’re such a bad guy~! Are blood ties really that important?” This question continued to stir memories that I did not want to speak of, and judging by the darkening of the wolf’s expression, he too didn’t like the topic. In fact, the wolf quickly continued,

““...Ah, nah, let’s not talk about this. Our values have nothing in common with each other.” I kept silent, for once feeling grateful that the wolf had been considerate. Then again, judging by the break in his clown smile, he probably did it for himself. Absentmindedly, I randomly asked,

“Are you jealous of me?” The wolf nearly choked on his food. To be honest so did I. I had never meant to ask such a question, but I had found it on my mind quite often the more time we spent with each other. Shaken, the wolf started with a wavering voice that was uncharacteristic of him,

“Nope. You and I are different humans. My meat sauce and Kuni-chan’s cream sauce are both ‘pasta’, but-”

“That’s not what I’m talking about now.” I snapped, getting impatient that the question I have been asking myself for so long was going unanswered. Strange. Why was I so worried about this, back then? There was no reason to be. Of course, I’ll admit that I had some kind of… feeling… for the wolf. One that I don’t understand even now, but it’s still always there. In the back of my mind. Like a ghost of me from back then. 

“Sorry, I was poking fun at you, haha. But wow, your self-awareness is amazing. I kind of like that part of you Kuni-chan~. And what about you? Are you jealous of me?” The wolf chuckled, waving his hand from side to side as he redirected the conversation topic. Surprisingly, his question then caught me off guard. I still think about it today; Was I jealous of him? But every time I thought, ‘maybe’, I would easily deny it. Just like how I denied that strange emotion that I mentioned a moment ago. It was something that was possible, but very, very unlikely. Hence, it is no longer of my concern. 

“Huh? Me? Jealous of you, who has nothing?” I scoffed at the wolf’s question, but instead of appearing offended, which I had hoped for, he merely stared at me innocently before saying in a voice that almost mimicked the pity I knew he was incapable of,  
“Yes. Of the fact that in the beginning, I was able to live with nothing.” My world froze at that point if I’m honest. After all, what he said was an absolute truth. He was always lonely, but I forcibly ripped myself away from my family, bringing loneliness and desperation upon myself. Going over it now, I suppose I do have some respect for that wolf. And from that day forward, I started using his name- Tsurugi. Though, this was only in my mind of course. It is an unwritten law that I must never ever say his name or he will be so annoyingly happy that any respect I have for him will disappear like a snuffed out flame. Tsurugi continued with a nonchalant expression,

“There’s no way to save you from being jealous when you’re not prepared to want something, so you should rethink your actions. You won’t be satisfied with anything, you know?” My wine glass split in two and I fell silent for the rest of the meal. 

There’s no need for anyone to know my opinion after that, anyway. 

Besides, something more immediate happened. 

Because you see…

It didn’t take long for me to break that unwritten law. 

“TSURUGI-SAN!!! I didn’t ask you to protect me! I didn’t ask! This just causes trouble!” I screamed at Tsurugi, who was keeled over on the floor in front of me. It was weird. Troubling, even. The mere thought of him getting hurt because of me upset me so greatly. It almost rivalled what happened between Misono, my mother and I. Though this isn’t important, is it? Haha, silly me for forgetting how useless this story is! I bet even Abel-chan is getting bored now! But anyway after Tsurugi’s injury, I got Jeje to stand by his bed whilst he was recovering, just so he’d think Touma-san had come to visit. He fell for it. How cruel. Touma-san, the one that seemed almost like a sibling to Tsurugi didn’t even visit. And of course, my visiting would have meant nothing to the lone wolf. 

Little happened after this. I left C3. Not much happened. Over time, I began to change. I barely remember things from back then. Though now that I think about it, there is one thing that Tsurugi said whilst he was injured that bothered me,

“‘If you die, I’ll be in trouble.’” But at the time, even Tsurugi didn’t seem to know what he was saying. Probably delirious from blood loss as well. That didn’t mean what he said wasn’t on my mind, though. 

Anyway, back to the important things, Tsurugi and I now fight whenever we see each other. Not sure why, really. A spot of fun, perhaps? A shame, though. At one point I was truly happy back then. Though that’s not to say that our fights now aren’t fun. Matter of fact, our fights are so very insightful. Handy, really. How much you can learn from another in a fight. It just makes my job so much easier. But shhh… That’s not important. No one needs to know about that just yet, right?

Though admittedly, there was one thing that I learnt from that wolf…

Do you want to know what it was?

Okay, then I’ll tell you.

It was how to wear the disgusting expression he used so frequently; It was how to wear the wolf’s mask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Question of the Chapter: Who will the next dramatic monologue be on? ;)


	3. A World with Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeje's Story
> 
> Warnings:   
> Possibly Triggering  
> Spoilers from Alicein Arc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Copyright: This story and its characters belong to Tanaka Strike, this is purely fanfiction

Um… Mikuni said he’d give me blood if I wrote this…

I’m not very good at talking, but I can write pretty well, I guess… 

I’m bad at voicing my opinion, so sorry if this gets a little confusing… 

So, uh... It all began- my meeting Mikuni that is- Uh, when my little brother brought me to the Alicein… mansion…

Hi, everyone! I’m going to write for Nii-san, okay? Oh, I’m Lily, by the way- Don’t worry, Misono, I won’t strip! I don’t want to make Nii-san feel uncomfortable. Ooh, and I will be writing in my brother’s point of view, okay? Every single thing I will write will be Jeje’s words but without every single pause. Now, let’s start, shall we? 

For Jeje- I mean, me, sorry- I didn’t particularly have a majorly dramatic backstory. I just keep it quiet. Normally, I don’t like to say too much because the more people get to know me, the more they somehow become influenced by me. Before the Alicein mansion, I was the Servamp of an old fisherman. He was really kind and had no family. Well, he did- But he was the outcast. Just like me. I never really had any outstanding traits like my brothers and sister. My only job was to be there when I was called. There was no reason for me ever being here. But, it was relaxing living with that old fisherman. He didn’t command, yell or force me to do anything. We just sat together every evening, making ships in bottles. It was almost fun. A past time to keep me from remembering the things that my previous Eves made me do or did to me. I don’t normally like to mention it, but Mikuni said I have to say it all, so uh… Whenever my Eves would ask me to do something that I did not want to do, sometimes they got so angry that they could not exact revenge on the person they were envious about, that they would hurt me. That’s kind of the reason why I wear the bags. To hide the scars that don’t exist. True, they healed. But… I still don’t want anyone to ever see me. I don’t want anyone to hurt me. 

Anyway, the old fisherman once found out how I never slept once every night. Instead, I spent it watching over him as he slept. He questioned me on why I would not sleep,

“I’m... scared... Nightmares...” I had whispered to him, coyly turning away. From that day on, he would slowly coax words out of me till he had found out bits and pieces of my past. Upset, he gave me a piece of advice,

“Envy, do you want to know what I do whenever I make those boats? I write all the things I want to say on the sails and let them float out to sea. That means that one day, someone will read it, but not know who even said it. It’s therapeutic.” So, that’s what I did from that day on. That’s also the main reason why I get annoyed when Mikuni sells my boats without consulting me. He doesn’t realise how important they are to me… Then again, the boats are meant to leave me. But I always keep them close. 

But things changed. The fisherman fell for it. The jealousy. He lost his business to an upcoming fishing company and was forced from his home. Then he said just what all my other Eve’s did,

“Kill him… Kill that bastard that took my life away…” When I refused and braced for impact, he did something I didn’t expect. He just nodded sadly and let it go. 

The next morning I woke with an awful headache. The water I had last night was drugged, and I had passed out for once; Thankfully, my sleep was dreamless. But the pain in my head was nothing like the pain in my heart. For right in front of me, was the hanging body of my previous Eve, swaying in the wind like a piece of washing hung out to dry. No… More like... A limp ship’s sail. 

Many years passed after that. I kept myself hidden as I did before. That is until Lust found me. He brought me from my lair, promising me a future of relaxation with no death, no envy, just acceptance for who I am. And so, I arrived at the Alicein house. To avoid any possible Eve’s, I hid in the basement for years, making ships in a bottle. By the time that Mikuni’s mother entered, I was up to my ankles in ships and my hands were raw from the splinters of wood. She coaxed me away from the bottles with sweet words and a calming voice every night until we finally entered a contract. I should never have listened. I can still hear her whispering in my ear,

“Kill her for me. Kill that cheating wretch.” And this time, I didn’t decline. I could see the anger and envy in her eyes that burnt at me like a wildfire. I knew that if I declined, I would be hurt. So I selfishly killed Misono’s mother. After that, I was forced to stay with Mikuni’s mother, and I was no longer allowed to make those ships. Once I even snuck down into the basement whilst in snake form, only to find every ship in every bottle burnt to ashes. A few years passed as my Eve raised the little Misono. But I could see it. The growing flame of envy in her eyes. But Mikuni seemed to have seen it too. One night- The night before she ordered me to kill Misono, Mikuni nullified the contract between his mother and I. I was made to drink Mikuni’s blood and the next night, I killed Mikuni’s mother on my Eve’s order. 

After that, we were forced to leave the house. The house that was meant to be a sanctuary. Lily lied. I should have seen it coming. Death always followed me. It came hand in hand with Envy, after all. Mikuni and I joined C3 soon after, and I met Tsurugi-san. It was strange. Tsurugi had the same eyes as Mikuni’s mother and every other Eve I had that had killed, but it seemed like he disliked the idea of killing. Like me, Tsurugi would write his thoughts on the inner folds of the origami he made- I discovered this after having stolen some when cleaning and accidentally ripping them whilst in combat. I soon found that we were being used the same way. So, every night we talked. He would make origami; I would make ships in bottles. We wouldn’t sleep. 

One night, Mikuni overheard my words with Tsurugi and spoke with me in private. He told me that human beings were naturally selfish. That none of it was my fault. He gave examples on how just because Lily was his grandfather’s Servamp, it didn’t make his grandfather a stripper, and so on. He pointed out that I did not influence anyone at all. That doesn’t stop me from worrying. 

But, Mikuni and Tsurugi’s surprisingly similar and helpful counselling sessions slowly helped me. I even allowed Mikuni to see my face once, mainly in the hope I would get blood; Obviously, that didn’t happen, though. Then, of course, Mikuni and I left C3. Whenever we see Tsurugi now, I have to fight him, though I’d definitely rather not. But since now I have some understanding of how I don’t control my Eve. So I guess, I have accepted who I am, so to speak… Though I hate it still… 

Next time, I swear… I will help my Eve accept his situation rather than doing what the fisherman did… I don’t want… to lose… anyone…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N
> 
> Who will have their dramatic monologue next?


	4. A World with Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily's story.
> 
> Alicein Arc spoilers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Copyright:  
> The story and characters belong to Tanaka Strike. This is just a fan work.

Hm, I’m not entirely sure what I am supposed to write about.

I know! How about I strip for you? ;)

Oh, but you can’t see me. Maybe I should draw it for you? I’ve had practise, what with all my many subclass.

Ah, there’s a rule here saying there should be no illustrations… But Tsurugi-san doodled hearts all over his, so I’m sure it’s fine! 

My, Misono seems to be waving at me through the window; I’ll wave back. I can’t hear what he’s saying though; It is a soundproof room after all. He seems angry. Maybe Sakuya-san insulted his height again? Ah, he never used to be like this…

Back before Misono had even been thought of, I was the Eve of one of Misono’s descendants. She was kind, so very kind, and took good care of me. She may have been one of my first Eve’s, now that I think of it. Now, this was just after I had became a Servamp, so I was very untrusting when it came to Eves. Matter of fact, I didn’t particularly want an Eve in the first instance. Back before I was a Servamp, I found myself wanting to die young… True, it was a rather foolish thought, but when I became a Servamp, I figured that this was probably punishment. Though even the Creator wasn’t specific on why he had chosen me out of all the other candidates. Anyway, I kept to myself. In a way, I was in a state of shock that I found myself unable to die, even though I starved myself of blood. But the beautiful woman that found me didn’t mind. She slowly persuaded me to talk about myself, and when she finally knew it all and suggested that she became my Eve, I questioned her,

“Will you love me? My sins… will… you love them too? If you love me and mine, I will love your children… For all eternity…” She agreed. Even though she knew all that I had done, she agreed and I was taken to the Alicein Mansion. And I think, back then, in all my immaturity, I had fallen in love with her. A foolish mistake. No Servamp can ever be with a human. So, despite being lust, I bridled my desire and kept quiet. Eventually, the woman died and I had a new Eve. However, back then, my Eve was very busy. We rarely would see each other, and I was often cooped up inside, left to read books or babysit the children of my Eve. It wasn’t the best experience. It was lonely. So very lonely. But I was fine with it. 

But, this isn’t particularly important now, I suppose. I don’t want my monologue to be that depressing, even if it can’t be helped in some specific sections. 

Over time, my Eve became old and was no longer able to command me. On his deathbed, he relented not spending more time with me and leaving me alone. Yet, I did not mind what he did at all. He had given me a sanctuary, away from all the humans that would seek to kill my kind. After my Eve was gone, I found a letter addressed to me in his will. It told me that I could take in any subclass that I wanted, hence protecting them from the segregation that we faced. Of course, it was probably also to prevent me from feeling lonely and keep me busy. It didn’t take me long to get a new Eve- The daughter of my previous Eve. 

After this, I began my search for a subclass. It’s surprisingly difficult you know. The human must be on the verge of death and willing to live on; It is never my intention to let someone that wants to die live. Eventually though, I found two. The twins, Mari and Yuri. They had both been abandoned in a forest; The parents were low on money, and unable to feed them all, so the abusive mother abandoned them. So, just like in Hansel and Gretel, they were left to die. I found them just in time. From that day onwards, I would gather subclass children and began to recruit them to keep them safe in the Alicein Mansion. A little more time passed, and after hearing from Pride that Envy had recently lost another Eve, I travelled to meet him. It took a good few days, but eventually, I managed to convince him to come with me to the mansion. Though, it probably wasn’t what he expected. I had tried to help him, but he just wouldn’t let me close enough… But that was fine, Envy had been through a lot, so I didn’t want to pressure him. 

Many years passed, Mikuni was born and just a few years later, Mikuni and Envy left. I had tried and failed to save my poor older brother from the death that surrounded him, but in the end I could do nothing. I was always useless when it came to fighting, compared to my siblings. Honestly, why was I chosen to be a Servamp anyway…? I was almost flattered that Mikuni’s mother came to me first when she wanted to kill Misono’s mother. Of course, I declined profusely, shocked that she’d say such a thing. However, if only I had agreed… Then Envy would not have had to deal with so much death. Mikuni would probably still be here. They would be a fairly happy family. But I was too scared. Just like I had been as a human. The one that was too scared to die and too scared to live. The one that didn’t even try- Oops, I think I’m going too far, haha. Sorry, I’ll get back to the monologue. My emotions don’t really matter here, oops. 

But the drama at the Alicein Mansion was far from over. Despite all that had happened, death continued to haunt our previously ‘happy’ sanctuary. My Eve at the time, Misono’s grandfather, Mikado, died. Once again, I was left alone. When I was walking out into the courtyard, unable to watch my Eve die, I heard a small voice that called out the old name that had been given to me by my previous Eve,

“That’s not my name anymore.” I turned to the young Misono, resting my hand on his head, “Has Mikage died? You’re so big now… It’s been years… Time marches on… Huh…” I trailed off sadly, to which Misono questioned,

“Are you leaving now? Like my mum? ...And my brother?” 

“I need a new name.” I hummed, knowing that even though I had no Eve now, I would stay. Just as I had promised her. A jingle came from my side,

“Grandpa gave me this. Take it.” Misono held out the pocket watch, “With a new name, you can stay. Snow Lily. Please protect us.” And with those words, I soon became Misono’s Eve. 

But, his father did not approve. Mikado found the weak Misono too unstable to be my Eve, and so to prevent him from nullifying the contract, I was forced to make a deal that I did not agree with. I would erase what Mikuni did to his mother, and keep the mansion’s dark past secret from him. Keep him away from Mikuni’s room. It hurt to do it. Every time Misono got close, I had to remove his memories time and time again. I warned Mikado that doing so would result in something bad befalling the mansion. He didn’t care. And I continued to do his bidding, despite not being under his control. The lack of trust between Misono and I began to grow, and… Snap. My item broke. I lost djin. And here I am, in a hospital bed in C3. I can barely write this now, so I got Misono to write it all for me; Sorry for lying in the beginning, haha. It almost feels like I’m writing a will. But I don’t mind if I die.

It’s what I wanted from the beginning, right?

At least now, I have people that love me; People that are crying as they write this. It just shows… Even though I am Lust, I can still attain the love that I do not deserve. Even though I am the Lust that has destroyed countless families…

I am still loved. 

What a waste.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, had to rush a bit at the end, so sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> Secret Project: Part 1  
> Copyright: The Servamp manga belongs to Tanaka Strike. This is a mere spin-off.


End file.
